September 27 - October 6, 2003
It's time again for my world famous weekly thought.
The place where I tell you everything that is going on in my head and stuff thats happening with me.

cK On The 5th Wheel!
cK Was On The 5th Wheel TV Show

CrazyKelvin Goes On The 5th Wheel!
That's right! CrazyKelvin was called to appear on the nationally syndicated dating show, "The 5th Wheel" this past week. It was an amazing adventure and I had a lot of fun. Here is how it went down:

I was sent to be an audience participant for a television pilot taping at the Broadway Stages in Queens. I brought along Tony and Serena with me. There was no pay involved, just some on camera time and free catered food. The show was called, "The Nuclear Family". A sitcom of about a crazy dysfunctional family. We sat there while they took about 8 takes of the same scene. Either the sound wasn't right, the props fell, something just kept the take they shot from being at the quality they wanted. Around 12:30pm, it was a break. I was in the line getting my great catered food when my cell phone started buzzing. (it was on vibrate) The caller id displayed "Unknown Caller". I wasn't going to answer it, but I did anyways. On the other end of the line was a casting agent from "The 5th Wheel". She told me that I was fabulous and really left an impression, and asked if I can come in and shoot today. (The day before I auditioned) I told her this was very short notice and I wasn't really dressed and hadn't shaved. The casting agent told me that they will take care of everything, just get to the studio as fast as I could. So I left the audience show taping and got on the 7 Train, which took me right into Manhattan. I got to the studio in 30 minutes.

5th Wheel BusWhen I arrived at the studios, I was greeted by all these producers and behind-the-scenes people. All these people wearing headsets and microphones introduced themselves to me, I couldn't remember all of their names, there were so many of them. One of them showed me the Old Navy sweater they got for me to wear later tonight. They also got me a razor and shaving cream if I wanted to get a closer shave, but upon seeing me, they thought my little stubble fitted my look. So I was led to go into a briefing room. In there I met a producer and another guy named Ryan. They sat me beside Ryan. The producer then let us know that we were the two guys who were going to participating in today's Fifth Wheel. I looked over at him. Ryan was a 6 foot 3 inch tall, light skinned black guy with light hazel eyes. I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm up against HIM!??!?!" Indeed I was, but when the producer left the room, him and I talked a little. We agreed just to have fun and not take this game seriously, we were just gonna make a good show. That was cool, Ryan could have been a real meathead, but he was totally cool.

So the producers escort Ryan and I to the 5th WHEEL bus! I couldn't believe that I was actually looking at it! For some reason, I thought that the show was filmed totally in Los Angeles! Silly me, there is a New York one too. So we get on the bus. It is exactly how you picture it. Groovy interior with the plush couch. Ryan and I sit down, and relax, awaiting our other castmates. The producers ask if we wanted anything to drink, offering water, soda and even Heineken or Coronas. I took the Heinekin. Ryan took some water. While we started sipping, the third member got onto the bus. It was a beautiful girl who was about 5 foot 3 inches tall, with long black hair and chocolately brown skin. She sat down beside Ryan and I and was eyeing me right from the beginning. I wasn't sure if she thought she knew me or what, but she definitely would just glance at Ryan and then gaze at me. (yes, it was that obvious!) Anyways... we introduced ourselves and she told us her name was Paula.

As we sat there, the fourth member entered the bus. She was a honey brown blonde girl who was about 5 foot 6 inches with a real attitude. Not a bad attitude, she was a self-proclaimed bitch and was very bold. I think that was cool. She wasn't suttle at all. She introduced herself as Shannon. While we were waiting for the bus to take us to our first destination, people walking outside could see us through the tinted glass and were waving to us like we were huge stars. It was really something! The producers then put microphones on us so we can be heard. The bus started to move. They were taking us to an undisclosed location. While the bus was in motion, the producers played the individual audition clips of us where we stated what kind of person we are and what kind of person we are looking for. The cameras are rolling the entire time to capture our reactions and comments to each clip. When it got to mine, I was hanging my head in shame because everyone was laughing. I stated how I am the greatest dancer in the world and that nobody can keep up with me. Well, after I answered up to it, everyone was very eager to put me to the test.
Slate Pool and Restaurant
Slate Restaurant / Pool
The bus stopped off at this pool lounge in Manhattan called Slate. We all walked out and were paired off into couples. I was first paired up with Paula. Ryan was paired up with Shannon. Before anything, the producers asked if we needed anything, just to ask. They even asked whatever I wanted to drink, just let them know. So Paula asked for an Apple Martini. I was going to ask for a HPNOTIQ, but then the idea of a Chocolate Martini came in mind. So I asked for one of those. When we got our drinks, we started to play a game of pool while the cameras rolled. What happened in the pool game wasn't important, the producers wanted to see Paula and I flirting a lot. That was very easy. So we flirted with eachother a lot while cameras rolled. When the producers felt that they had enough content for that take, they moved us to the VIP Lounge. Before each of us go back on camera, the producers tell us what is going to happen in this scene and then tell me to ask Paula if I can lick my Chocolate Martini off of her. I don't know what they told Paula, but it must have been similar. So Paula and I sit down on this really plush couch and flirted a little more which led to both us eventually licking our martinis off of eachother. You have to see it on tv when it happens, very crazy.

After that scene, the producers seperate us and then get one-on-one interviews with us where we say what we think of the other person so far. When that was done, another producer asked me if I have ever acted before. I told them that I never have. They went on to say that they were really impressed with my acting skills and that I fit a role that they have in mind for an upcoming movie. I was not expecting this, I got real excited. They told me that after they wrap up today, they will talk to me more about it.

The next scene was me pairing up with Shannon. This girl was very loud, and looks like she demanded attention. We played some pool and had some good chemistry. Her and I had stuff in common, but she wasn't willing to be a little crazy on tv. Much unlike me. There was a part where she wanted me to demonstrate to her how I would be with her if we were in the bedroom. So I went on top the pool table and showed her. The producers couldn't believe it! I don't know if that will make it to the show or be edited out, but we will see.
Bliss Bar and Lounge
Bliss Bar & Lounge
After my time with Shannon, we were all put back on the bus. The producers told us that we'd be watching some past shows from the 5th Wheel. When the tv monitor came on, we were shown the video of the fifth person telling us about themself. It was a girl, and her name was Elaine. After the video was over, Elaine entered through the door and introduced herself. This girl was gorgeous! A Dominican girl who lives in New Jersey with a nice brown complexion. She was cute. After we were all introduced, the next destination they took us to was BLISS Lounge. A very trendy Manhattan after work bar. We were brought catered food to eat while the whole crew took a break and everyone changed into different outfits for the evening portion of the show. The producers were great enough to buy me an Old Navy sweater to use and keep. After we all changed and ate, the first scene was pairing me up with Elaine in the VIP room to play a game. When I entered the small room, I noticed a table with chocolate sauce and whipped cream. The object of the game was to take a card, and whatever area it said, you had to place either the whipped cream or chocolate on the other person and lick it off. So I drew a card, and it said "FOREHEAD". So I placed some whipped cream on Elaine's forehead and licked it off. Simple enough. So even though there was chocolate sauce there to use, we both agreed it would be quite messy to use and just stuck with the whipped cream. So this game continued where we were licking whipped cream off of each other. After that was done and we were trying to have a conversation, it was quite dead. Elaine wasn't exactly talkative. I don't know.. I was just in awe of how beautiful she was. But I wasn't diggin' her since she didn't speak much.

The next scene was me going to sit with both Shannon and Paula. They were told by producers that this was their last chance to try and win me over. I sat in the middle while they both had to make me believe that they were into me. So, they said their lines and all and I was just smiling the whole time. There was a part where Shannon said she wanted me to show Paula how I dance. So with no music, I gave Paula her own personal dance. Shannon couldn't stand to be left out so she took off my belt and started smacking my behind with it. It started out as a neat fun idea and then went to erotic as everyone was really diggin this. The producers and camera crew couldn't believe what they were filming! After that was done, they seperated and filmed us with each person one more time to see if they were interested. I was first paired up with Elaine. We talked, and laughed. I was very into her physically, but mentally we were not clicking. Before the cameras rolled, the producers secretly told me that I have to ask Elaine for a kiss and see if she goes for it. Well, I asked Elaine when the cameras were rolling and she kissed me on my cheek.

The next pair up was with Shannon. We sat right by the window overlooking the New York City night scenery. I had my chocolate martini and Shannon had her cosmopolitan. The producers secretly again told me that I have to ask Shannon to kiss me. So when I asked Shannon, she kissed me twice on the cheek, followed with a big hug.

The last pair up was with Paula. Same setting by the window. She had her apple martini and I had my chocolate martini. The same objective applied. We both talked about how much of a great time we had that night and were definitely looking deeply into eachother's eyes. I felt such a connection with her, it was crazy. When I asked Paula to kiss me, she didn't hesitate. She did! Woweeee!!!

After those segments were filmed, we got back on the bus and they took us to some real fancy Manhattan hotel that I can't remember. This is where we were going to film who we wanted to be with on the rooftop. So the producers gave us each paddles and markers. On the paddles is where we wrote the name of the person we chose. We kept it all a secret until they lined us up in front of the camera to expose our choices. First up was Ryan. Ryan revealed that he chose Elaine. The whole time we all had to remain smiling. The question was if Elaine chose Ryan? We would see in a minute. Then it was my turn to reveal who I chose. I revealed that I chose Paula. After the guys' choices have revealed that nobody picked Shannon, the producers took her out of the group and off camera. I didn't see her again after that. I was really thinking of picking Shannon too, but only because she seemed fake is why I went with Paula. They then went to see who the remaining girls picked. First was Elaine, she revealed that she chose Ryan! Yeah!! Perfect match! They film them both hugging and celebrate. Now, who did Paula choose? When she revealed her choice, it was Kelvin! Yeah!!! Another perfect match!!! They film us both celebrating and hugging.

After that last take where we tell the camera why we made our choice, we all exit the hotel and everyone is given some money to get home -- except me. The producers arranged for a car service (in a Mercedes limo) to take me home. I couldn't believe it! I truly liked my day working in show biz!

If you want to be a guest on The 5th Wheel tv show, please visit:
Slate Pool Lounge and Restaurant - 54 W 21st St (212) 989-0096 - New York City
Bliss Bar and Lounge - 256 East 49th St (bet. 2nd & Lexington) (212) 644-8750 - New York City

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to email me at:

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